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Showing posts from May, 2014

The Skinny on the Fat

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I was pouring out of my training bra in fourth grade. My breasts didn’t need to be trained, they needed to be tamed. Every other girl was looking for toilet tissue to put in her shirt. I was searching for duct tape. My two budding friends were growing at an exceptionally fast rate and to top it off my other friend Flow decided to start her monthly visits early. So there I was a very fertile 10-year-old with the beginnings of perky boobs. Before you go all pedophile on me, you should know that I was a chubby kid. I held onto my baby fat until ninth grade and in my opinion there was nothing pinch-my-cheeks-cute about it. I figure however that between everyone's glasses, braces and uni brows I fit right in during middle school. 

Then there was high school. An all girls catholic high school. Survival of the thinnest on steroids. Laxatives, diet pills and skipping meals were common prom and semi-formal prep. Ah youth— if I wanted to lose four pounds in one week it would happen in the sn…